Bereavement support
Bereavement Support Team
The Bereavement support team are here to help you through the
early days of your bereavement or later on when you may be seeking
bereavement support. Feel free to contact the Team on 0117 342 7293
or email them at: ChildrensBereavementSupportTeam@uhbw.nhs.uk.
The death of a child is a devastating and painful time for the
whole family and it can also be a very confusing time.
"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not
afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering
in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep
swallowing. At other times if feels like being mildly drunk, or
concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world
and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps,
hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the
others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty.
If only they would talk to one another and not to me". (C. S. Lewis
'A Grief Observed')
Here you will find information that will help you over the next
few days to find some answers to the practical issues and where you
can get more help should you need it.
We understand that you don't always hear what people are saying
following bereavement and so those who looked after your child are
always happy to help in any way we can and go over information that
you may not have understood.
You would have been given a booklet called 'Next Steps'. The last few pages of this booklet
look at support in the days following the death of your child and
so may be useful to keep close by.
Grief is a normal and healthy process, but it is also painful
and hard to see a way through and at times to share that with your
partner or other family members can be very difficult. One parent
described grief in the following way:
"The pain of grief is like walking about with a sharp stone in
your stomach, every time you move you feel pain but over time the
sharp edges become smoother and whilst the pain never goes away it
does become easier.'
We have signposted some helpful links below and organisations
that offer support to bereaved families.
Who can I speak to about the death of my
child?
Contact with the hospital medical team responsible for
your child's care
After your child has died, you should receive a call from one of
the nurses who cared for your child, or from a bereavement support
key worker. This should be followed up by a further support call
over the weeks ahead. You should also receive a letter from your
child's Consultant inviting you to meet to discuss any questions
you have concerning your child's death. The letter usually arrives
around 6 weeks after your child has died, you may decide that
meeting soon after this is important to you, alternatively some
families decide to wait until additional test results and
information is available. The key point to remember is that the
offer of a meeting remains open to you and you should feel
supported in communicating with hospital team at a pace which feel
right for you. You may wish to see other members of your
health care team, such as the Chaplain or Psychologist. If you live
some distance from Bristol, it is sometimes possible for this
meeting to take place at a more convenient location.
If you have not received a call or a letter, or you wish at any
time to speak to someone who may be able to help and/or give
guidance - please ring the Paediatric Bereavement Support Team -
01173427293.
Child death review and other processes
The health care team regard the death of every child as a
tragedy and go to great efforts to understand and learn, so as to
continually improve the care we deliver. You would have been given
some information about the child death review process after your
child died. We welcome your input into this. You will have the
opportunity to feed any questions you may have into the meeting,
and afterwards the health care team will again offer a follow-up
meeting to feed back all that was discussed. Occasionally, the
hospital will also wish to carry out an in-depth analysis of the
events preceding your child's death. This is called a Root Cause
Analysis. Again, you will be given the opportunity to be involved
with this.
Please click here to view 'When a child
dies - a guide for parents and carers' published by NHS
England.
Christmas can be a special and memorable time for children and
families, but for some families the significance and poignancy of
the festive period can hold a greater meaning.
Each year the Paediatric Palliative Care & Bereavement
Support Team and the Hospital Chaplaincy Team have worked together
to produce a virtual Service of Light. The aim of this service is
to honour and remember the lives of children cared for at Bristol
Royal Hospital for Children and to reach out to bereaved families
and friends with a message of love, hope and peace at this
important time of year.
You can view the Service of Light 2021 on our
YouTube page here.
For further information or support please call: 0117 342 7293 or
email us at: ChildrensBereavementSupportTeam@uhbw.nhs.uk.
Children's Funeral Fund in England
The government has launched the new Children's Funeral Fund in
England. The new fund can help to pay for some of the costs of a
funeral for a child under the age of 18- or a baby stillborn after
the 24th week of pregnancy. The burial or cremation must take place
in England. It is not means-tested: what a parent earns or how much
they have in savings will not affect what they get.
The fund can help pay for:
- Burial fees
- Cremation fees, including the cost of a doctor's
certificate
- A coffin, shroud or casket (up to a cost of £300).
More information about the Children's Funeral Fund is available
here: https://www.gov.uk/child-funeral-costs
Other helpful resources and information can be found below:
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Further information and support
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Samaritans
24 hour service providing emotional support for anyone who's
struggling to cope, who needs someone to listen without judgment or
pressure, at any time of day or night.
www.samaritans.org
Free helpline: 116 123
Email: jo@samaritans.org
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Child Bereavement UK
Supports families, provides information sheets and offers a
telephone helpline for anyone affected by the death of a child, or
who is caring for a bereaved child.
www.childbereavementuk.org
Phone: 0800 02 888 40
Email: helpline@childbereavementuk.org
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Child Death Helpline
For anyone affected by the death of a child of any age from any
cause. The helpline is staffed by volunteers, all of them bereaved
parents.
www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk
Phone: 0800 282986 (from landlines) / 0800 800 6019 (from
mobiles)
Email: contact@childdeathhelpline.org
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Winston's Wish
Offers practical support and guidance and a range of helpful and
practical publications, resources and information to families,
professionals and anyone concerned about a grieving child.
www.winstonswish.org
Phone: 08088 020 021
Email: ask@winstonswish.org
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Grief Encounter
Offers personal support and a variety of resources to anyone
bereaved.
www.griefencounter.org.uk
Phone: 020 8371 8455
Email: contact@griefencounter.org.uk - general
information
Email: ecounselling@griefencounter.org.uk -
counselling service via email and skype.
Grieftalk Helpline: 0808 802 0111
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Cruse Bereavement Care
Offers support, advice and information to children, young people
and adults when someone dies. www.cruse.org.uk
Free National Helpline: 0808 808 1677
Email: helpline@cruse.org.uk
For face-to-face or group support, contact your local Cruse
branch
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Hope Again
The youth website of Cruse Bereavement Care - supports young
people with how to cope with grief and feel less alone.
www.hopeagain.org.uk
National Helpline: 0808 808 1677
Email: hopeagain@cruse.org.uk
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The Compassionate Friends
A registered charity formed by and for parents whose children
have died.
www.tcf.org.uk
Helpline 0345 123 2304
Email: helpline@tcf.org.uk
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The Lullaby Trust
Support for anyone affected by the sudden and unexpected death
of a baby or young child. www.lullabytrust.org.uk
Phone: 0808 802 6868
Email: support@lullabytrust.org.uk
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Sands
Support for anyone affected by the death of a baby.
www.sands.org.uk
Phone: 0808 164 3332
Email: helpline@sands.org.uk
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A Child of Mine
Support for anyone affected by the death of a child, offering
emotional support, practical information and guidance.
www.achildofmine.org.uk
Phone: 01785 283 434
Telephone helpline: 07803 751229
Email: hello@achildofmine.org.uk
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Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide
Exists to meet the needs and break the isolation experienced by
those bereaved by suicide. www.uksobs.org
Helpline: 0300 111 5065
Email: Email.support@uksobs.org
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Sudden
Online guidance to help ease the suffering of people bereaved by
any kind of sudden death. www.sudden.org
Helpline 0800 2600 400
Email: help@sudden.org
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The Good Grief Trust
Website run by the bereaved, for the bereaved and exists to help
all those suffering grief in the UK. www.thegoodgrieftrust.org
Email: hello@thegoodgrieftrust.org
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2Wish Upon A Star
Support for anyone affected by the sudden and unexpected death
of a child or young person aged 25 and under in Wales. (The child
must be Welsh, have resided in Wales or the death must have
occurred in Wales).
www.2wish.org.uk
Phone: 01443 853125
Email: info@2wish.org.uk
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Care for the Family
Peer support and resources for any parent whose son or daughter
has died at any age, in any circumstance. The charity also runs
events, support days and weekends away for bereaved parents.
www.careforthefamily.org.uk
Phone: 029 2081 0800
Email: mail@cff.org.uk
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At A Loss.org
Charity signposting to bereavement support services,
information, helplines and resources. www.ataloss.org
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Children of Jannah
An organisation supporting Muslim parents, providing practical,
emotional and spiritual support. www.childrenofjannah.com
Support and Information Line: 0161 480 5156
Email: info@childrenofjannah.com
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The Jewish Bereavement Counselling Service
Bereavement counselling for everyone in the Jewish
Community.
www.jbcs.org.uk
Phone: 020 8951 3881
Email: enquiries@jbcs.org.uk
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The Harbour
A Bristol based independent charity providing free, professional
counselling and psychotherapy for parents following the death of a
child through illness.
www.the-harbour.org.uk
Phone: 0117 925 9348
Email: info@the-harbour.org.uk
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For helpful books/resources for children, please refer to p54 of
the Next Steps booklet: Next Steps
