08 October 2019
‘The importance of admitting when we are struggling with our mental health’: An open letter
Thursday 10 October is World Mental
Health Day, an international day raising awareness of the
importance of looking after our mental health, and encouraging
people to talk about it, even when afraid to do so. The theme for
this year's mental health day is suicide prevention.
Mental health conditions are very common. In Bristol, more than
40,000 people have a diagnosis of depression, nearly 7,000 children
and young people are estimated to have a diagnosable mental health
problem, and suicide rates remain significantly higher than the
national average.
University Hospitals Bristol is one of the five largest
employers in Bristol employing over 11,000 people that together
help provide care for the people of Bristol and beyond. Mike
Sheppard is the workplace psychological wellbeing lead for the
Trust and below he talks openly about his own experiences of
dealing with mental health issues, and the importance of speaking
out, even if you're afraid to do so:
Mike Sheppard
"We in the NHS are incredibly generous at supporting others when
they struggle physically or mentally, and we encourage them to
"prioritise their wellbeing", and yet how often do we grant
ourselves that same necessity?
Before working in mental health, I worked for three years in HM
Prison Service. Every day I would drive to work, walk through nine
locked gates and sit in a room of ten sex offenders to facilitate a
national programme where we unpicked every detail of their
offences, to try and change their behaviours.
Very quickly the content started to have a serious impact on my
mind. I felt sick at the thought of going to work, became snappy
with my friends and family, and started to struggle to get thoughts
out of my head about offences I had heard about.
Put simply, I felt crap, almost all the time for three years.
Funny stuff stopped being funny to me. I felt disengaged from my
life and uncomfortable in my skin. And it felt like my brain would
never stop churning round negative thoughts, which was completely
exhausting. I even had to spend £100 on a fitted mouth-guard as I
would grind my teeth whilst I slept; a poor investment given I
literally chewed through it in a matter of months. (I'm still proud
of that!)
All the while this was going on though; I continued to take
pride in being regarded by friends as 'a good support' and 'a mate
who could listen to problems.' However, I was terrible at noticing
when my own mood was diving down, and even worse at actually doing
anything to help myself.
I felt ashamed and fearful that I would look weak, and was
terrified of being seen as attention-seeking.
I had grown comfortable in my role of supporting others with
their problems, and didn't want to let them down or be a burden to
them by suddenly prioritising myself.
And ultimately, it just felt uncomfortable asking for help. So,
like many of us, I didn't share my struggles or seek support, and
this hideous situation only worsened over the next three years as I
tried my best to just ignore it.
I am very pleased to say things did change.
There was no light-bulb moment for me that I can share. It was
more of a gradual realisation that I wasn't happy with my head, and
an acceptance that other people might just have tools, techniques
and patience to help me, if I'd only give myself permission to
ask.
Since that time I am proud to say I have had counselling;
sitting down 1:1 with someone in a safe space to just talk through
how things affected me. At first I felt stupid and selfish for
"wasting the counsellor's time", but they helped me through those
negative thoughts.
I've also had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT); which helped
me notice negative thoughts I was having and taught me how to view
them differently, as well as looking at unhelpful behaviours I was
using like avoidance. Supported by my GP, I also tried different
anti-depression medications for a number of years which I found
helpful when used alongside CBT.
You may be asking why I am sharing my story. I leapt at the
chance to write this piece and to hold my hand up as someone who
has struggled with their mood; but that has taken time and effort.
Working in the NHS we are so quick to support others, but it took
time for me to practice what we preach and grant myself that same
permission.
Ultimately, no-one in this world is immune from having struggles
with their mental health. That includes you, and it includes those
you idolise and look up to, regardless of their job, gender, race,
or age.
Struggling; admitting things don't feel good; accepting you need
support - none of these are signs of weakness. They are a
demonstration of a desire for change, a hunger to improve your
circumstances. That is to be praised and encouraged.
Through my own journey I believe that our experiences, both good
and bad, shape who we are. As the workplace psychological wellbeing
lead for an NHS Trust, some reading this may question my
credibility, particularly when I reveal that I still have bad
moments with my mood.
My personal feeling is that I wouldn't be doing this work now
without those experiences. I consider myself incredibly lucky to
have this moment to share my own experience in the hope it might
inspire anyone struggling to do something positive about it by
prioritising yourself.
Wherever you are in your own journey, remind yourselves that you
are as important as anyone else. So allow yourself the focus.
Thank you for reading."
If you would like more information or guidance on how to cope
with mental health conditions, there are a range of resources
online via https://www.mind.org.uk/ and https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou
There are also a range of therapy services available either face
to face, over the phone, online, or in groups; use the
NHS website or speak to your GP to find out more.
To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can
contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a
year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), or email jo@samaritans.org
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